In a recent episode of my favorite TV show, two of the characters ended up in bed together. Afterwards, the gorgeous and highly masculine man turned to the woman and asked, "What's going on here? Where are we going with this?"
Her response?
"Come on. I thought I was the girl here."
In other words, a real man should want to avoid commitment like the H-Bomb.
This may just be a scene from TV, but too many real-life women find themselves turned off when a man shows interest in moving a relationship forward. And whenever I relate a story about a guy I know who wants a commitment from his girlfriend, one of my female friends will comment, "He sounds like the girl in the relationship."
Huh?
The thing is, the media (particularly women's magazines, which brainwash us into believing that we have to "get" a guy to marry us) promote the falsehood that marriage is the goal of every female's existence. Men just want sex.
We walk around believing this nonsense, and when it doesn't match up to what we encounter in real life (a guy who really wants to be with us, who is monogamous, and eager for commitment), we automatically assume there's something wrong with him.
The next time you meet a guy, and he actually calls when he says he's going to, stay the course. Don't freak out. Don't assume he's a loser. Go out with him again. Give him a chance to grow on you. Give yourself a chance to decide whether he might be the guy who could make you happy for the rest of your life.
If you find he doesn't do it for you, cut him loose. But if you find that every guy who shows genuine interest (or wants to take things to the next level) doesn't do it for you, if you find yourself continually attracted to unavailable (emotionally or otherwise) men who love you and leave you, ask yourself if you--yes, you!--are a commitmentphobe.
If the answer is yes, figure out what scares you about commitment. Work your way through it. Before long, you'll find yourself attracted to better men.
And in time, you'll find yourself waking up every morning next to the man with whom you enjoy a fun, loving, and commited relationship. All former struggle, strain, and strife will be long forgotten.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams."
Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com
Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com