Being an Empowered Woman means it's OKAY to feel bad! We can feel anger, sad, upset, hurt, betrayed, and even alone. While you probably know this already...can you honestly tell me you don't feel guilt, worry or fear when these "bad" feelings pop up every now and then?!
Well, I did!
Women (myself included) have this awful ability to take the martyr's role, that we have to feel chipper, sweet, kind-hearted, blah, blah, blah..."No one can see me like this" baloney!
Take away the guilt, and allow yourself to be a woman...one with needs, such as having realistic expectations, wanting happiness, trying to live a calm and sane life, and wanting a life filled with joy and appreciation by your loved ones.
Don't put everyone's feelings ahead of yourself so that you don't allow yourself to feel 'poopy' once in awhile.
While this may sound crazy...I don't think I felt "scared" before until after my accident. I actually wasn't scared of possibly facing death, nor my therapy...I was scared during the 7 weeks of medical tests to figure out what we're going to do with my dangling cerebral tonsil.
If you don't know, Arnold Chiari Malformation (ACM), the brain disorder I was diagnosed with after the accident, is a condition where a part of my brain is falling out of my skull into my spinal cord. Truly disgustingand scary stuff...no doubt.
None of that scared me...not even my claustrophobic-ridden MRI tests specifically for ACM patients. Ever hear the horror stories of getting a MRI? Well...mine is worse. I actually have to put on a head gear and a bite plate to keep me more still...as if there's anywhere I can run to if I started to freak out.
Anyways, I actually said the words to my husband one night after I said the night's prayers with my girls, "I'm scared". "Of what?" he asked.
My reply, "I do not know. Not the tests. Not surgery. Not my odds against me...maybe it's the reality that I will not always be here to be a mom for our girls...or your wife raising them. Maybe...I'm angry at myself, because I'm letting life control me, and I'm wasting this precious time...right now...that I have with you...maybe you and all who love me (family, friends, and My Power Network) are right. It's time for Ponn!"
As I recall this conversation, I'm crying and sniffing at the computer. My husband is watching me right now as it's early morning and the girls aren't up yet. He just asked, "What's wrong!?".
My reply, "I'm just happy to be here." With one big wipe of my nose, I caught a glance, and now I feel ready to start my day with my family.
By the way, in addition to writing as a form of therapy, I'm a big crybaby. I've always been and always will be.
I cry for happy stuff, beautiful stuff, but never the bad stuff. So the next time I'm bad or sad, I promise to be empowered enough to let my guard down and cry.
Be empowered enough to be human!
Ponn M. Sabra, MPH is the Author of "Empowering Women to Power Network". To learn more about her book and sign-up for FREE tips, articles and resources, visit her at http://www.empowerwomennow.com. Ponn is profiled in Marquis' Who's Who of America and Who's Who of American Women.