Being a good husband involves more than just taking out the trash and bringing home a paycheck, and being a good father involves more than holding the baby and changing an occasional diaper. I have found that many fathers are told that they have neither the knowledge nor the skills to nurture a baby or to help their wives through pregnancy. The traditional view is that dad’s usefulness is limited until the baby becomes a toddler. I am here to say that that is not true. Nature may have given mothers a bigger job than fathers in taking care of a baby, but the ability to be a nurturing parent is a learned one, even for us slow dads. Remember that aside from mommy, daddy is the closest and most important person in the world to little one. Being a good husband involves more than just taking out the trash and bringing home a paycheck, and being a good father involves more than holding the baby and changing an occasional diaper. I could say that my wife, Nikki, is the strongest woman I know, but that would be a huge understatement. She is by far one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. The night we found out we were pregnant was so exhilarating and yet scary at the same time. Neither of us knew anything about the journey ahead of us, but one thing was clear ?we needed each other to get through it. That’s one thing men will learn about pregnancy. You share every joyous and scary moment from beginning to end, and whether or not she says it, she needs you and wants you to be an active part of the pregnancy.
The first few weeks of pregnancy are relatively easy. Some women don’t even realize they’re pregnant until after this period of time. Your baby is still just an embryo and you guys are still letting the news soak in. As a man, I found it hard to start connecting with the baby until I felt him kicking. Even then, I didn’t fully connect until I had the little wriggly guy in my arms. This is completely normal, so don’t feel bad.
The first big bump in the road comes with a nasty name…morning sickness. I should point out that the word “morning?is more of a general guideline than a rule. Your wife may not get sick at all or she may live at the toilet. Nikki fell closer to the latter part of the spectrum and man was that tough. I had never seen her so sick before and there was little I could do. The worst part was feeling so helpless. However, there are a few things that we husbands can do to help. Take hope!
Here’s a short list of things I found helpful and that I could actively do to help Nikki when the sickness hit.
1. Ginger drinks ?An old fashioned remedy for nausea that works surprisingly well. This includes ginger tea, ginger ale, ginger beer(a jamaican soda), etc. The doctor will probably tell her to eat as soon as she wakes up to ward off nausea, and if you make her a cup of tea or pour some ginger ale to go with her crackers and water, it could help a great deal. Just be forewarned, even ginger had a limit with us. Ginger tea worked wonderfully for a few weeks, but afterwards she couldn’t even hold that down. Those pregnancy hormones are strong.
2. Cook all of her meals ?My wife loves to cook, so the fact that the smell of cooking made her sick was saddening. I didn’t know how to cook much at all before we were pregnant. If you’re in the same boat, don’t worry. You can learn everything you need to know to become a decent cook.
3. Take over or help with house chores ?The old myth that housecleaning is not a man’s job is just that…a myth. Guys, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and do some dishes, and mopping, and scrubbing, and don’t forget to vacuum…I should mention you’ll have a new appreciation for the amount of work that goes into keeping a household. I should also mention that I was never good at practicing this particular preaching. Our house was not very clean during Nikki’s pregnancy.
4. Massage her ever night ?This can include a foot massage, a back massage…you get the idea. Pregnancy can be very stressful, especially with all the changes her body is going through. This time each night can be a special time for the two of you to connect and for you to show how much you lover her and care.
The main point that I want to make with this series is that as a husband you don’t have to settle with the feeling of helplessness during pregnancy or the first year of baby’s life. As I said before, these are just a few things that you as a husband or partner can do to actively help with pregnancy. There are some more tips that I will mention in the next articles, so read on.
Grant Carroll proud father and co-owner of http://www.littlepamperedbabies.com with Baby Clothes and Baby Shower Gift Ideas
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